Learning How To Bend
by Nascar3L
Summary: Sara and Catherine have been together for a year and Catherine is tired of being the only one opening up in the relationship. Will Sara be able to do something she deems impossible in order to prove to Catherine she trusts her completely? One Shot.


_Catherine sighs and speaks up, "Sara I just can't do this anymore. I love you with all my heart but I just don't think you will ever fully give me yours. I don't want to fight. I'm sick of fighting. I just can't be with someone that doesn't give as much as I do. I'm sorry."_

Sara is on the roof of CSI smoking a cigarette. That conversation keeps running through her head. That was three weeks ago and she hasn't heard from Catherine. She's seen her at work obviously and it's been pleasant just no more than professional. Sara knows she's messed up but this can't be the last time. Her and Catherine have had that fight a million times in the year they have been together. They always seem to work it out. Although this time there was no fight, no raised voices just those words.

Sara thought she was sharing and opening up more but apparently it wasn't enough for Catherine. Sara has never been good at opening up, given her past she assumes that is the reason why. After you've been abused and seen your mother murder your father right in front of you it scars you; but at some point Sara always thought if she was with the right person she'd be able to share all of the things she needed to.

Sara wants nothing more than to let Catherine know how much she means to her and she'll share everything with her in due time. It's just something that doesn't come easy to her and she'll have to work through it.

Sara puts out her cigarette and realizes she was up here long enough to smoke four.

Greg opens the door to the roof and spots Sara. He knows something is off because she quit smoking. Greg walks closer to Sara and she is unaware of his presence still lost in her own thoughts.

Greg speaks up, "Hey Sara."

Sara turns around and gives her friend a small smile.

Greg leans against the wall on the roof and is looking out over the city. He decides if he wants to know what's up he's going to have to ask Sara because she's never going to volunteer the information.

Greg starts, "Sara what's wrong? And don't tell me nothing. I know you well enough to know you'll deny everything unless I drag it out of you. Also, you're smoking again something Catherine finally got you to quit."

Sara mimics Greg and leans against the wall on the roof overlooking the city. She thinks maybe she can discuss it if she doesn't have to look him in the eye, because if she does she will break down.

After a long sigh Sara starts, "Catherine and I broke up again."

Greg shakes his head because he knows he's going to have to get tough with his friend. He starts, "Sara you know I love you but you need to learn to share things with her. This isn't me or Warrick or even Nick that you can just laugh it off. This is an intimate relationship. You can't let the same things slide with her that you do with us."

Sara replies, "I know Greg. I just don't know what to do. Catherine is being nice just very professional. She's returned none of my phone calls that aren't work related."

Greg turns his head to look at Sara and asks, "Sara do you love her?"

Sara wiping the tears off her face but not looking at Greg replies, "More than anything."

Greg yells, "Well then get off your ass and doing something about it Sidle! Instead of standing up here moping and killing yourself with those cancer sticks go tell her how you feel!"

Sara turns to Greg and asks, "What if I can't?"

Greg lowers his voice this time and responds, "If you can't then you don't love her. I choose not to believe that though. I've seen the way you look at her."

Sara sniffles and says, "Greg it's not that easy."

Greg shakes his head and responds, "Sara life isn't easy. It's all about what you do to overcome it. Do you know what's on the other side of that fear?"

Sara shakes her head in response.

Greg says, "Everything."

Sara gives him a questioning look and asks, "Everything?"

Greg nods and says, "Everything you've ever wanted with Catherine. It's just on the other side of this fear of opening up to her."

Sara sighs and says, "What if what I have to say ends everything between us."

Greg chuckles and says, "At least you'd have your answer."

Sara also chuckles and responds, "I actually can't argue with that logic."

Greg says, "Seriously though she loves you. Whatever it is she will accept it and you two will work it out together. That's what you do when you love someone."

Sara looks at Greg for a minute and finally asks, "When did you get all smart on us?"

Greg pretending to be offended responds, "I've always been this smart. Besides if you two don't make up you'll ruin one of my greatest fantasies come true for the past year. I'm not ready to part with that."

Sara rolls her eyes and playfully smacks Greg and says, "There's the real Greg."

After a few moments Greg asks, "What the hell are you still doing here?"

Sara gives him a questioning glance.

Greg looks at her as if it's obvious and finally says, "Go get Catherine back."

Sara says, "I don't know what to tell her."

Greg says, "It will come to you trust me."

With that Sara leaves CSI and heads for Catherine's. Sara still has no idea what she is going to say but Greg is right she has to fight for what she wants in life, damn the fear!

Sara pulls up in Catherine's driveway gets out of her car and is standing in front of a door that until three weeks ago she would've opened without hesitation. This however feels different. Sara raises her hand to knock and then lowers it. She does this three times before saying to herself, "Come on Sidle!"

Sara raises her hand to knock on the door once more but is interrupted by the door opening and she is face to face with Catherine.

Catherine is just as stunned as Sara but she manages to say, "Sara what can I do for you?"

Sara is still a little shell shocked but eventually asks, "May I please come in?"

Catherine looks as if she's having an internal debate between her head and her heart. Eventually her heart wins as she steps aside to let Sara in.

Catherine motions for Sara to sit on the couch as she joins her.

Sara finally speaks and says, "Catherine. I need to get something out, but in order for me to get it out I'm going to ask that you don't interrupt."

Catherine nods in response.

Sara sighs and starts, "Catherine I know I'm not an easy person to be with but know that I do love you more than anything. I'm going to try and explain why I am the way I am." Sara clears her throat and continues, "I'm trying to see things your way. I'm still learning how to trust. It's so hard to open up but I'd do anything for us. I'm still learning how to bend and how to let you in. I want to be there till the end and be your lover and your friend."

Catherine interrupts, "I know I'm not supposed to interrupt Sara but I feel like I've heard this before just a different version."

Sara looks at Catherine and says, "I know. That's why against everything my head is telling me I'm going to tell you why I have such issues trusting people. Just know that I've only told this to one other girlfriend and everything came crashing down on me, that's why I've been so hesitant to tell you."

Catherine with a look of disbelief says, "Honey I've always told me you can tell me anything. I meant it! No judgement from me either, my past isn't exactly the best."

Sara starts, "During my childhood I was abused. One night I came home and I guess my mother couldn't take it anymore, she stabbed my father to death right in front of me." Sara is staring straight ahead because she thinks that's the only way she can get the story out. She continues, "It's funny ... the things that you remember and the things that you don't, you know. There was a smell of iron in the air. Cast-off on the bedroom wall. There was this young cop puking his guts out. I remember the woman who took me to foster care. I can't remember her name, which is strange, you know, because I couldn't let go of her hand."

Catherine doesn't respond but puts a comforting hand on Sara's shoulder.

Sara coughs and continues, "I do remember the looks. I became the girl whose father was stabbed to death. The fights, the yelling, the trips to the hospital. I thought it was the way that everybody lived. When my mother killed my father, I found out that it wasn't. Although foster homes weren't much better I bounced around to countless one's until I was old enough to take care of myself."

Catherine interrupts by kissing Sara on the cheek and says, "Honey I had no idea."

Sara shrugs and responds, "How could you? I've done my best to keep it from everyone. But if I didn't tell you then it wouldn't explain my trust issues. Now do you understand where I'm coming from?"

All Catherine can do is nod.

Sara sighs and continues, "Catherine I want everything with you. Someone told me today that to get everything with you I had to get over this fear of opening up to you. Please tell me …"

Sara is interrupted by Catherine's lips on hers. It is perhaps the most passionate kiss they have ever shared, so much pure raw emotion in that one kiss.

Once they separate Catherine's rests her forehead on Sara's and asks, "Just who do I have to thank for giving you the nudge you needed?"

Sara smiles and answers, "Greg."

Catherine captures Sara's lips once more before saying, "Remind me to thank that kid."

Sara responds, "He shocked me today with his sound advice. For a second I saw him as a man but then he said if we didn't make up we'd ruin one of his greatest fantasies come true for the past year and that he wasn't ready to part with it."

Catherine rolls her eyes and says, "That's the Greg I know."

Sara laughs and says, "That was pretty much my response."

After a few moments of silence Sara asks, "So are we ok?"

Catherine turns to Sara and smiles and says, "We'll get through it. We always do. Besides you took a big step today it wouldn't be fair for me to punish you."

Sara smirks and replies, "I don't know depends on how you were going to punish me!"

Catherine pins Sara down on the couch and right before kissing her says, "Oh there will be plenty of that!"

That night was two years ago. Sara is thankful for it because that was the turning point in their relationship. Sara knows if she hadn't shared all of that with Catherine they might not have made it. There weren't many more fights after that night … well at least not about Sara opening up. Sara knows she is no longer learning how to bend, because she's bent and it is the best thing that could've happened to her.

Today they walked down the aisle and gave each other themselves forever and always. Greg was standing right next to Sara. No one could've been more fitting in the role of Sara's best man because he was an integral part in her decision that night. Greg has been Sara's biggest cheerleader in her relationship with Catherine, mostly because he knows his best friend is head over heels for Catherine but there is also a part of him that always wanted Sara to live her personal life to the fullest.

Sara is standing on the balcony of their Honeymoon Suite leaning against the railing looking out over the city.

Catherine exits the suite and steps out on the balcony. She wraps her arms around Sara from behind and lays her head on Sara's shoulder. She then kisses Sara's cheek and asks, "Penny for your thoughts babe?"

Sara smiles and pulls Catherine around to the front of her so they are facing each other. She says, "Just thinking about the journey that got us here and how damn lucky I am."

Catherine leans up, puts her arms behind Sara's neck and captures Sara's lips with her own before saying, "I was thinking about the night you first opened up to me earlier today and how I'm so glad you finally trusted me with your past."

Sara embraces Catherine and then leans back and responds, "Me too. Remember what I said to you that night?"

Catherine answers, "About learning how to bend?"

Sara nods and replies, "Yeah. I was just thinking that I've bent and it's the best thing that could've happened to me … and us."

Catherine smiles up at Sara and says, "What do you say we go consummate this marriage?"

Sara replies with, "Yes dear."

And they disappear into the suite.

* * *

A/N: This is a one shot I've had in my head for a while. The learning how to bend line is from the song _Learning How To Bend_ by Gary Allan. That song has always reminded me of Sara and Catherine. Also the part about Sara's past is paraphrased from _Nesting Dolls_.


End file.
